57 Years Ago, a Legendary Psychologist Discovered the 7-38-55 Rule. It’s Still the Secret to Exceptional Emotional Intelligence
EXPERT OPINION BY JESSICA STILLMAN, CONTRIBUTOR, INC.COM
The classic psychological rule is often misapplied. But when understood correctly, it can radically improve your EQ.
As someone whose whole job it is to write things that grab attention on the internet, I’m not surprised that the 7-38-55 rule has stuck around for 57 years. It’s incredibly catchy.
First described by University of California, Los Angeles, psychologist Albert Mehrabian back in 1967, it was later explained in detail in his book Silent Messages. The rule, as it’s usually cited, states that 7 percent of communication is conveyed by our words, 38 percent comes via our tone of voice, and 55 percent comes through body language.
How simple and compelling. No wonder it’s still cited by many communication pros to this day.
Only there’s one problem with this handy, memorable rule. As it’s usually understood, it’s simply not true. But don’t ditch it entirely. A correct understanding of the 7-38-55 rule can give an instant boost to your emotional intelligence and a leg up in all sorts of tricky but important everyday situations.
What most people misunderstand about the 7-38-55 rule
Google this classic rule, and you’ll find articles insisting that it can help you do better at job interviews and even business negotiations by being more cognizant of your body language and tone of voice, as well as the nonverbal signals of others. It’s obviously a good idea to pay attention to whether the interviewer is yawning through your answers or you’re coming off as aggressive at the negotiating table, but there’s a clear problem with a lot of these articles.
That’s not actually what Mehrabian said. The experiments that underpin the rule weren’t looking at sales pitches or interviews. They were focused specifically on situations where people were talking about their feelings and their words and expressions didn’t line up.
As Mehrabian explained on his own website, “Total Liking = 7% Verbal Liking + 38% Vocal Liking + 55% Facial Liking” and other similar equations were derived from experiments specifically focused on the communication of feelings and attitudes (i.e., like-dislike). Therefore, unless a communicator is discussing their feelings or attitudes, these equations are not applicable.”
If you’re looking to be convinced of this visually, I recommend this short, fun video debunking broader uses of the 7-38-55 rule.
Reading conflicting emotional signals is at the heart of EQ
The bottom line is Mehrabian’s rule applies only to feelings, not factual content. And it only works when different signals are in conflict. The good news is, this encompasses a whole lot of situations that are really, really important in life.
Wondering if your girlfriend is actually mad at you even though she says she’s fine? Reach for the 7-38-55 rule. Not sure if you really connected with that interesting person at the networking event? Ditto. Unclear if your employees are on board with that new initiative? Same advice.
While the 7-38-55 rule may be wildly overapplied, it’s still incredibly useful for focusing attention on what’s most likely to provide us accurate and valuable intel in situations where it’s hard to read others’ intent or emotions. When in doubt, lean more heavily on tone of voice and body language than words.
It’s also useful to keep in mind when you’re trying to get your own feelings across. Words do matter (a lot), but they’re far from the only thing you need to consider. If what you say is in conflict with your tone or your body language, people will believe their eyes over their ears. That’s a warning to any leader looking to rouse the troops while fidgeting with their hands in their pockets — or those who think they can handle emotionally delicate matters over email or Zoom.
Reading others’ emotions and accurately communicating your own is a critical component of emotional intelligence. The 7-38-55 rule is a catchy way to remind yourself that, if you want to improve these skills, how someone says something is at least as important as what they say.
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